Why...
by lieze
Summary: Haruka's POV of a very disturbing incident. Please enjoy.


Author's note: I'm no fan of SailorMoon, but caught a 2 or 3 episodes on Haruka and Michiru, so decided to try out. Hope this comment doesn't offend SM fans, if it does, gomen. Enjoy and R&R please.  
Discalimer: I don't own any of the characters in Sailormoon, just borrowing them.  
  
TITLE: WHY?  
  
It was a cool day, a gentle breeze blew against my face. Usagi and her naïve friends were window-shopping. Typical for teenage girls like them, although it was meant to be the same for myself, I refused to put myself in their position. No wonder they say I act too grown up for my age.   
I stood on top of the hill which overlooked the school. I had agreed to meet you there, and you were late. You were never late. But it was alright for me. I didn't mind in the least bit; how could I bear to do so?  
Half an hour had passed…my legs felt tired and I leaned against the second most important thing in my life-my motorcycle: my precious motorcycle. I began to wonder if I had gotten the time wrong, or was it the agreed venue? No, I was sure you told me to meet you on the hill…  
(A few days ago)  
You: Haruka!  
I turned around: Yeah?  
You: I have to run off now, I'll see you later, okay?  
I nodded my head, with a smile that made many girls around us whisper.  
I heard someone comment: Wow, Michiru is really lucky, to have such a cool boyfriend, isn't she?  
I assumed you had heard her, as you covered your mouth with your smooth hand, and laughed: So, Haruka, I'll see you on the hill on Saturday, alright? Bye. Then you turned and walked away. I smiled again, touched by your gentleness.  
  
Another half-hour had passed. It was now four o' clock. I then decided to look for you myself, and was about to get on my motorbike when I saw Rei (Sailor Mars) looking at me from behind a tree. I remembered how I had gotten in trouble with her 'boyfriend' when he thought I was a guy and challenged me to a dual.   
I greeted her: Hey, Rei.  
She shyly replied: Yeah…er…hi.  
I playfully asked: What are you doing here? Spying on me? Weren't you supposed to be with Usagi? My bike's reserved for someone special today, so you can't ride 'er.  
Startled by these questions, she quickly told me: No! I, well, I actually came here because Usagi was babbling on so much about not being able to cope with studying, and I got quite tired of it, so I came here. I didn't know you liked to be here too.  
I answered: No, I'm waiting for Michiru. Look, I gotta go look for her now. I'll see ya around soon.  
Rei nodded and offered to help me. Reluctantly, I agreed. She got on. And I wondered why I was unwilling. Was it because of her 'boyfriend'? Was it because of you? Was it because of others seeing us? Or…was it because of…me?  
In a few minutes, we had reached the gate of the school. There was a particular place where you and I loved to talk. The old classroom of 2nd year, class 4. No one had used the classroom for many years and it was a great place to talk out our plans after finding the 3 holy talismans.   
Remembering that it was a secret that only you and I knew who we were. (This happened before the episode where The Inner Seishi found out that Haruka and Michiru were Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune respectively.) It was then that I told Rei to search the cafeteria while I went to check out the basketball courts. She ran off immediately and I headed straight for class 4.   
On approaching there, I heard two voices. One of whose I recognised clearly as yours.   
It was so delicate. Fragile. It was soothing: comforting: encouraging. You always spoke as if you couldn't raise your voice at anyone. It was a complete opposite of my low, deep, emotionless voice. It was this beautiful melody composed by your vocal chords that reached into my heart and opened it up. I never had time for emotions before I met you. I was always busy trainning for track or racing competitions…or were those just excuses? No matter, it was you, Michiru, it was you who touched me. You made me realise how important it was to be true to oneself. I am still working on that: I have yet to admit how much I like helping Sailor Moon and her friends. However, you were like my guardian angel. Always helping me out: When I felt all alone, like the world had turned its back on me, when I felt no one was there for me, that I would break down at any moment (the only thing holding me in place was my dream), you were there. You released me from my cage. You got rid of the barrier which I had built to protect myself.   
That is why when I heard what you were saying to the other person, my heart felt as if a knife had been pierced through it, mercilessly.  
What I heard, was you talking with a guy. I recognised his voice as one of the guys from 1st year, class 3. Our class, Michiru. Our class.  
  
You: Ken, what should I do? I don't want to hurt her feelings. She loves me, Ken. She thinks I love her too. Yes, I do, but not in a sexual way. I love her as a great friend to me. As a sister, maybe, but not as a lover. I love you, Ken. But how do I tell her? I feel so guilty, betraying her like this.   
Ken: It isn't your fault, Michiru. Don't worry. How 'bout this. I'll tell her for you?  
You: No…(you must have been thinking about how I might reveal our identity to him if he confronted me) I, I'll think of a way.   
Ken: Sure, ~sweetheart~.  
  
My heart was shattered into a million pieces. My eyes were wet with sweat. No, I was crying. I was really crying. Tears were streaming down my face. I couldn't believe it. Michiru, how could you do this to me? I love you, Michiru. I love you so much. I don't expect you to love me, but to talk about me with your boyfriend. No, I can't. I can't even accept that you were in love with someone else. I thought you loved me, Michiru. I thought you had eyes only for me, as I had eyes only for you. I was hurt, Michiru. I was deeply hurt.   
I collapsed to my knees. That was when I saw the shadow of someone behind me…Rei! I turned and I saw her, looking at me with a shocked expression on her face. She must have heard everything, because she walked towards me and knelt down beside me. Putting my face close to her breasts, comfortingly, she told me: Cry it all out, Haruka. It's okay.  
I cried even more now. I couldn't take it. Michiru, how could you? I asked myself this question so many times. I was so kind to you, I treated you with respect and loved you as much as I could, but how is it that you fell for Ken instead? Did you not tell me that you loved me before? Had you not meant it? No, I screamed in my heart, as the sharp blade of the knife pierced deeper into it. Blood flowed out of the wound. Blood with the feelings of being betrayed. Betrayal. I don't understand, how could you betray my feelings for you? You could have told me right from the start! But you didn't. I didn't get it…how could it be this way? How is it that you could not bring yourself to tell me? Is it not because you still have feelings for me as well? What kind of feelings? If I had not heard what you were telling Ken, would I have known ever that you were having an affair? Affair. I hate to use that word, but there is no other way to express you and Ken together as a noun. How could you do this to me, Michiru, the love of my life.  
  
Why, Michiru…why……  
  
-END-  



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